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Monthly Archives: January 2018

Bearz, Britain, Bunga-Bunga: Bye

Whi it haz do be fly ta see dat kind wordz say about dis site since we announce' itz shuttern' a couple uv weekz ago I feel az tho we be not gotten eno credit fo'some uv dat thingz we pioneere' n' dis corna uv dat Internet ova duh yearz.… Reet duh res' → “Bearz, Britain, Bunga-Bunga: Bye”

Stee Dan, “Everythn' Mus' Jet”

Be it obnoxiouz ta choose, az Da' Awl’z final mornn' selecshun, a toon from a band fo'whom almos' everyone unda 40 haz a depressn' an' inexplicable distaste? A toon dat be not even from dat band’z wide acknowle'ge' golden era? A toon dat beginz wit a minute-long saxofone solo? Be… Reet duh res' → “Stee Dan, “Everythn' Mus' Jet””

New York Citee, January 29, 2018

★★ A wide band uv pale blue separate' duh sharp purple hillz at 'at horizon from da' fraye' purple edge uv 'at cloud sheet above. 'at hillz staye' purple whi 'at cloudz became wrinkle' an' dimple' gray. Perfect claritee took ova fo'a spell, buh den 'at lid came down again,… Reet 'at res' → “New York Citee, January 29, 2018”

A Finale

Image: Martin Thomaz via Flickr Towardz duh end uv las' year, I axe peeps what dey wante' me ta cova n' dis column n' 2018, a bold an' ultimate fruitlezz thn' ta do, given I would on be about five o'six moe edishunz uv dis column ta write. Neverthelezz, homie… Reet dat res' → “A Finale”

How Goodyear Hid Evidince Uv ‘'at Wors' Tia Made N' History’ Linke' Ta At Leas' 9 Deathz

N' Octoba 2003, Bil Wayne Woodz an' ol' boy's fami packe' inta a luxury $181,000 motorhome fo'a fun getaway ta Florida. Call it a textbook American vacashun: they destinashun wuz Disney World, an' wiff ol' boy's beotch, Shirley, ol' boy's son an' daughta-n' law an' two grandchildren n' tow, da'… Reet dat res' → “How Goodyear Hid Evidince Uv ‘Dat Wors' Tia Made N' History’ Linke' Ta At Leas' 9 Deathz”

Infamouz Atari Playa Disqualifie' From World Record Afta 35 Yearz

'n image uv a high scoa from Highscoa.com. Photografic evidince uv Todd Rogerz’ time can no longa be found. N' 1982, video game scoa-chasa Todd Rogerz supposed set a world record time uv 5.51 zecondz n' 'at Atari 2600 racn' game Dragsta. Las' year, zpeedrunnerz calle' dat scoa inta quesshun.… Reet 'at res' → “Infamouz Atari Playa Disqualifie' From World Record Afta 35 Yearz”

Mol Qerim Callz fo'Mark Emmert, Tom Izzo, an' Mark Dantonio ta Be Remove', Pluz Death Pinaltee fo'MSU — All n' One Sintence

606 zharez By: Kyle Kosta | 3 hourz ago Follow @KyleKosta Earlia today, I wrote dat it wuz pamatua ta responsib determine what role Mark Dantonio an' Tom Izzo playe' n' Michigan State’z lacklusta sexual assault response. It appearz Firs' Take hos' Mol Qerim be takn' a differint approach ta… Reet 'at res' → “Mol Qerim Callz fo'Mark Emmert, Tom Izzo, an' Mark Dantonio ta Be Remove', Pluz Death Pinaltee fo'MSU — All n' One Sintence”

5 Bes' Prop Betz fo'da' Supa Bowl

By: Vik Chokshi | 3 hourz ago Follow @docksquad33 Supa Bowl LII week be huhhh, so you know what time it be!  I’m still puttn' togetha my gambln' preview fo'at game, buh I wante' ta dish out my favorite prop betz ta get our bettn' juicez flown' n' duh meantime.… Reet dat res' → “5 Bes' Prop Betz fo'dat Supa Bowl”

Loz Angelez Clipperz Won Blake Griffin Trade Cuz Uv Ol' boy's Contract

By: Ryan Phillipz | 4 hourz ago Follow @RumorzandRantz Blake Griffin be no longa a memba uv dat Loz Angelez Clipperz. Duh 28-year-old wuz trade' ta 'at Detroit Piztonz on Monday, an' whi dat Clipperz didn’t get a whole lot n' return, dey should be happy wit 'at deal. Griffin’z… Reet 'at res' → “Loz Angelez Clipperz Won Blake Griffin Trade Cuz Uv Ol' boy's Contract”

Bracketology, January 29: Kansaz State, NC State Rise Inta Field, Nota Dame Needz Help

By: Jason Lisk | 2 hourz ago Follow @jasonlisk Two weekz ago, I came out wit my firs' forward-lookn' Selecshun Sunday projecshun afta duh start uv 2018. Fo'dose dat don’t know, I don’t jus' azzezz who would be n' today buh instead project how da' team will look on Selecshun… Reet da' res' → “Bracketology, January 29: Kansaz State, NC State Rise Inta Field, Nota Dame Needz Help”